Drunken Sailors

Posted on Wed Jan 4th, 2023 @ 10:36pm by Lieutenant Commander TaijanSuda ch'Thulhu & Lieutenant JG Fox Jasper & Ensign Asami Inoue
Edited on on Wed Jan 4th, 2023 @ 10:42pm

3,261 words; about a 16 minute read

Mission: The Icarus Files
Location: Starbase 14 - Officer's Lounge
Timeline: Just after the first briefing...

Starbase 14 offered a rotating officer's lounge that gave a lazily shifting panorama view of the entire system from star to planets to space traffic both local and interstellar. The center of the octagonal establishment was an isosceles triangle whose longest bar faced the door with the shorter two bars facing away.

When Suda entered with Fox in tow, he noted the leftward bar was mostly empty and made a beeline for it.

"Don't have all night, so let's make this quick," Suda said to Fox and to the bartender who was currently pouring for another customer. "Shots. Lots of them. Here, here, here, and so on." He pounded the bar with his fist, indicating the desired lineup. "Anything Andorian or Romulan if you got it. None of that Saurian pisswater."

Noting Suda was waiting impatiently in line, Fox wolf-whistled and beamed a big dumb grin at another, further away, member of the bar staff. The tall willowy blond shook their head and smiled back. "One sec," they promised, racking up a line of new bottles below the counter. Then big blue eyes in a pale, heavily freckled angrogynous face turned to the pilot. "The usual?"

"Something special, please Cove," Fox requested. "We're celebrating." He watched them raise an eyebrow and made them wait. "I just got Chief!" The two high-fived, then the blond ducked down behind the bar, rising up again to hand over a plain, but dusty bottle of green alcohol. It had something that looked very much like a scorpion pickled in the bottom, swirling around with fake anger as Cove rattled the sell.

"Perfect," chuckled Fox, turning to show off his prize to Suda while simultaneously stealing one of the lined up shots with his free hand.

Suda nodded stiffly but with approval nonetheless. "Fill'em up, at least two fingers each," he said. "Hard and fast or stay home."

"Just like the ladies demand it?" deadpanned the pilot. He complied, filling up the line of shot glasses Cove had left for him while simultaneously her fellow bartender provided a second linear road to hangover central. Fox placed his bottle within close reach of his left hand, and then sank the first two shots in quick succession. One green. One blue. He looked to Suda.

"Fuckin' A," said Suda. "A is for Andorian," he added.

"Your turn," noted the human. And then Fox's attention shifted immediately out towards the inbound young woman he'd met once before.

"Umm, two more glasses please." Asami said to the Bartender, barely glancing at the other two while focusing on the blonde as she slid into the chair beside Fox. Shifting a bit at the bar until she was comfortable Asami waited for her glasses. "And do you have food? I'm kinda hungry." She grinned, taking off her jacket and draping it over the back of her chair.

Moving from one patron to another with a seamless calm, Cove gave a polite nod to Asami's request. "Empty glasses?" She checked, not willing to take it on guesswork or assumption. "And yes, there are replicators at both ends of the bar," Cove confirmed, gesturing to her left and then right in turn. "Please, help yourself."

Suda slowly turned his head to face Asami, an incredulous look on his face that a young lady wanting in on the sacred drinking contest. Recognition came over him, though, as he recognized her from the SAR briefing. If she was qualified to join the team, maybe she could punch above her very diminutive weight at the bar.

"You heard the gal," Suda said to the bartender. "But make it four glasses." A grin came over his face. "Looks like we got ourselves a little initiation."

Following Suda's gaze, with a highly amused expression as he did so, Fox regarded the four glasses Cove obediently laid out before Asami. Unlike the Andorian, (apparently), Fox was accustomed to seeing women of all ages get themselves into various different competitions and with many, interesting outcomes. "Whose initiation?" he asked with a friendly jab of a thumb towards the Ensign. "Yours or hers?"

"His for sure." Asami smirked, a little internal gulp hopefully hidden by bravado. It wasn't like she didn't do more than her fair amount of partying and drinking at the Academy. But these guys seemed pretty well practiced and she wasn't exactly sure what they were drinking. "Be a gentleman and pour a lady a drink?" She took up a glass holding it out for one of the men to set her up.

Fox raised an eyebrow at Inoue's question. First the mock-confidence (he hadn't missed the slight tell) and then the request for chivalry? Weird. He looked from Ensign to Lt Commander and said nothing, curious for the moment.

"I dunno," Suda said, taking her empty glass away and setting it in the shot lineup. "Apparently we need to check with the White Knight over here whether that's okay," Suda said regarding Fox. "I guess your planet had a women's liberation or something awhile back, but on Andoria any blue-blooded chen or thaan can pour a zhen or shan a drink without some little shit busting his nubs over it for an easy lay." While he talked, he poured heavily into all four glasses without regard for the liquid gold that sloshed over the edges or for the bullshit he was uttering. Bar talk was 9 parts posturing and 1 part fact-based. "Slam or scram," he said to Asami, "but don't just stand there, rookie."

"White Knight?" Fox immediately challenged as he cast a deliberately over-acted look over his shoulder. "Where?" And he turned back in time to hear the Ensign's response to Suda.

"I aint easy..." Giving the Andorian what was probably an over confident smirk, Asami grasped the first of her glasses throwing back one green and one blue in quick succession. Her face twisting slightly after the second one as a shuddern ran up her spine. "Ugh gross." The second one tasted like root beer mixed with cough syrup. Working her mouth a few times to clear the taste and texture the Ensign returned her focus to the others.

"I ain't easy, and neither of you are ever going to find out just how hard a lay I am."

Fox scrunched his face up in disgust at that comment, and shook his head. If that was the way she was planning on playing it, he wasn't interested in the game.

Suda gave a snort. "Don't flatter yourself, kid." Then he took a deep chug straight from the bottle, wiped his chin with his sleeve, and then poured even more. "Looks like the girl took the lead over you, flyboy. What kind of wingman action is that?"

Asami shook her head at the bravado. Not so different from the Cadets and lower Deckers she was used to. "Thought it was a marathon not a sprint ya?"

"Not with an early morning drill at 0-Dark-30," said Suda. "This is a wham-bam-thank-ya-ma'am situation."

With a smug grin on his face, Fox rested his right arm in a comradely fashion about Suda's shoulders and then used his left hand to cradle and dunk the next two shots in the line swiftly followed in quick succession by his third round. He sucked in a breath and grinned. That possibly put him level with the Andorian, but who really cared, this was a contest no one was winning. Hangover o'clock would see to that in the morning. "We were on a second date when you showed up and started playing third wheel," Fox told Asami with mock aggression in his tone. "Like the big fella says, we gotta early wake-up in the alpha mike. Don't throw your virginity into the mix now, it's wasted on us," he added, expression serious.

Raising her eyebrow Asami knocked back another shot the glass coming down on the bar with a little more force than the others. "Don't worry I'm not trying to shoehorn in on your budding romance. Especially if y'all past your prime that you can't handle a little late night drinking before an early training. Guess keeping up the Academy fitness standards doesn't translate to the rest of the Fleet after graduation..." Smirking she grabbed the forth glass in front of her and tossed it back with a gulp and a satisfied ahh. "Good to know that I can relax now that graduation's over."

"Someone found her big girl pants after the briefing, huh?" Fox hurled back. "Hope you handle danger better than you do speaking to the Captain."

"Cute," said Suda as he looked back to Fox. "The rookie thinks the Academy prepared her for active duty." He slammed two more shots and bared his teeth in a grin. "Reality is a bitch. She doesn't have set hours or schedules or rules of any kind. No notion of fair or right and wrong. How long until Rookie breaks down crying under the strain of it all, ya think?"

An exaggerated roll of his eyes aimed back at Suda, Fox couldn't help but chuckle at the Andorian's comeback. Rookies. They were rarely ready for reality - hell he hadn't been that first time out in wild space - but he had been hungry for it.

"The strain of carrying a couple of old men like y'all, you mean?" Asami said with a wink.

Fox just laughed out loud as the Ensign threw her return barbed comment into the mix and let her have her moment. Suda could take it.

Suda's brow arched halfway to his lonely antenna. "You think you can carry me? You and what army?"

"Who needs an army, I've got a she-hulk!" Asami stuck out her tongue, raising her arms to flex her muscles. Surprisingly fit for a human woman her size, she was no body builder but it was clear Asami didn't skip workout days.

Three drinks in and already flexing those tiny arms. Should be a fun night. Thought Fox knew that muscle mass wasn't everything, skill factored in to even up some of those odds. He dunked another shot, slow and steady this time. Then, cradling the scorpion bottle, Fox sat up on the bar to regard Cove as she worked, whilst keeping an eye on the two warring factions of Security and Science.

"Yeah?" Suda rolled up his sleeves and flexed rippling pythons that were thicker around than Asami's thighs. "Sit down, girlie. You can't handle these."

"And you'll never get to handle these!" She gave one last flex before snatching up her next drink.

Suda snatched it right out her hand and downed it himself. "No, no. You gotta' earn more." He slid the train of empty glasses off the bar and onto the floor, ignoring the chagrin of the bartender who made a quick protest but quickly gave up. Suda planted his elbow on the bar and flexed his grip. "Give me your best shot," he said. "Arm-wrestling. Sudden death. First hand to eat bar loses. I'll even use my off hand."

Meanwhile, Fox had followed that falling line of shot glasses with a swift slide up and over the bar. Cove was scooping them up, so the pilot lifted the last one that had rolled under the shelves, grabbed a barcloth and wiped the floor behind her. He raised his eyebrows and traded knowing looks with the Starbase's bartender as she picked up the bottle Suda had placed down in order to grab Asami's glass.

"She's really gonna wrestle him?" Cove whispered, and Fox shrugged his shoulders as he hopped back up to sit on the bar beside Asami.

"She beats you, man?" Fox teased Suda. "I think we're over. Rookie can carry you back to your bunk."

"Beat me? I doubt Rookie could even flick her own bean," Suda taunted.

"Well versed in self care then Sir, sounds like you'll once more have to indulge on your own." Asami chuckled.

Fox gave a comedic eye-roll and exhale combo and held Suda's bottle up high in the air. "If you're done shooting your mouth and backing down, lil lady," he told Asami. "Us old men have some drinking to do." Once again he lined up a row of fresh shot glasses and filled the little trio from a fresh - blue - bottle handed to him by Cove.

"Hell yeah!" Suda left his sleeve rolled up and took up shots in both hands.

Asami frowned, pouted really, her face turning from one of shocked disappointment to annoyance. She hadn't even really thought about it when she reached forward and snatched the next shot off the bar and throwing it back and slamming it on the bar.

"Oh yeah, real big men, you think that some arm wrestling contest proves anything? Fine, you wanna go, lets do it, but all it proves is you spend more time in the gym than I do. So go ahead, show me how muscle over mind you are."

Where that rant came from Asami really wasn't sure, maybe it was the drinking getting to her, maybe it was the embarrassment of acting like a first year fool in front of her new CO and the Ship's Captain... Or maybe it was because these two were jerks and she finally had enough? Who knew? But Asami was ready regardless, she's made her bed now she had to sleep in it.

"Oh, now you're breaking my heart," Suda teased. "If not arm wrestling, then what? You gotta' back that mouth of yours up with something!"

Two and one made three, and Fox lined up another three glasses. He took a slow slug of liquid from the scorpion bottle as he refilled the shots from the blue one.

"Yeah, c'mon Rookie," the pilot nudged, a broad grin creasing his dark face as he wrapped a comradely arm about Suda's shoulders. "First you're a mini-hulk, now you're insulting the only skill my Andorian friend here has." Fox ruffled Suda's bald head, making his sole antenna waggle. "Some of us are strong," he said. "Some of us," he pointed his free hand with the bottle at himself, "are dextrous and highly skilled. What do you bring to the party besides tiny arms and the big mouth?"

"An actual brain I guess?" Asami teased, sticking out her tongue at the pair. "Someone has to direct big arms and dexterous fingers somewhere. Can't just let y'all run wild, who knows where you'd end up."

Suda cackled far too loud to be sober. "Oh, she gots brains! Hear that, Fox? We gonn' have ourselves a brain fight!" He leered at Asami and grinned. "Come on, rookie. Let's brain fight. Unless yer too scared and stupid!"

Leaning towards Asami now, Fox lightly tapped her badge. "Says 'Ensign'," he pointed out with happy amusement. "You're gonna need rank as well as brains if you wanna tell us what to do." Pulling his hand back the pilot waved dismissively at the young woman. "Besides, we do our best work running wild." He turned his full attention back to Suda and the booze. "Brain fight?" Fox laughed. "How'd that even work?"

"We talk shit till one gives up, then we head butt until one gives, then sudden death!" Suda explained, slightly cross-eyed.

Arm still lazily about the Andorian's shoulder, Fox looked from Suda to Asami and back again. He was drunk enough to consider brawling, but not so wasted that he'd sign up to every dumb idea they could dream up. "Definitely be some death if we start head-butting she-hulk here," Fox noted, and looked to Inoue. "You have a better idea, Big Brain or is it past your bedtime?"

"Is true, you'd not survive headbutting me..." Asami's grin was decidedly more mischevious and lazy than before, the multitude of shots they'd taken catching up quickly with the Ensign. "But if you wanna wr-risk it all, make sure not to use the soft part of your head..." Asami grinned again pretending to look around Suda's skull for said spot before finally tapping him lightly on the forehead with a giggle.

"Uh-huh," noted Fox passively, letting her talk as he disengaged his arm's light touch from Suda. He missed the young woman's grin and most of her investigation into the Andorian's face as he stepped around to loom beside Asami. Then in one smooth motion, Fox lifted her effortlessly up and over his shoulder, patted her on the backside as one might a naughty child who'd missed a bedtime curfew. "Definitely time for your bunk," the pilot declared.

"WHUOMP!" Asami yelped as she was lifted up and onto Fox's shoulder, it took her several seconds for her alcohol hazed brain to catch up to her new height and orientation. "Oh yeah that's right! You bettr r-run!"

With a deft spin, Fox aimed himself at the lounge's nearest exit and marched in its very specific direction with his drunken charge. "I'll be back for you in a bit," he called cheerfully over his shoulder to Suda. "Computer - directions to Ensign Inoue's quarters, please."

"Use protection!" Suda called off after them. "We don't need any more little shits like you running around here!" He pounded another shot and let out a loud whoop.

"Yeah you're the one gonna need protection blue balls!" Adami called as Fox rounded the bar, the doors shutting closed, cutting off her following threats.

Silently wondering if Suda meant him or Asami when it came to 'little shits', Fox broke that internal reverie at the younger officer's shout. "His balls are always blue," the pilot pointed out, his tone somewhere between amusement and resignation. He bounced the Ensign for a few deliberately enthusiastic jostles as they took the turbolift and then again as he strode closer to her room. If she was gonna puke, better out here than in her bunk.

"And anyway," Fox added as he stepped up to her door and waited for her comm badge to automatically open it. "Not gonna need protection on account of you're way too drunk to consent."

"Eeeww gross..." Asami made a retching noise. "I wu-wouln, wouldn'n't do it anyway-is... I do't like when my tongue turnin blue..." Asami started to giggle even before she slurred through the end of the sentence, the giggle turning into an almost wicked cackle as the doors slid open and allowed the two inside. "turnin blue... like a popsicle!"

For a second he thought she was going to puke and Fox instinctively ducked his shoulder with the intent of shifting Inoue's trajectory away from himself. Mercifully she kept talking - rambling - rather than projectile vomiting, so he walked them both swiftly towards her bunk and unceremoniously dropped her down onto it. "G'night crazy lady," Fox told her. There followed a moment where he pulled off her shoes, placed a cover over her clothed form and then took a step back to look down on the young Ensign. "No popsicles for you tonight."

Fox's combadge beeped. "Yo, Fox! Manager kicked me out, so I'm gonna hit the rack. See you at Oh-Dark-Thirty for drills."

Damn it. But, also, probably for the best, figured Fox. Wasn't as if they didn't have plenty of time coming for drinking games, socialising and such. "No drama. G'night, man. I'll be there in the alpha-mike."

The pilot backed out of Inoue's quarters and let the door close before him, then walked merrily down the corridor to the turbolift to find his own quarters. Tomorrow? Tomorrow was gonna be fun.

 

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