Hand to Cookie Jar

Posted on Fri Jan 5th, 2024 @ 3:37pm by Captain William Maddox & Lieutenant JG Stanislav Finch

1,035 words; about a 5 minute read

Mission: The Icarus Files
Location: Captain's Ready Room
Timeline: During the transit to Talbian V

The walk of shame to the bridge where the captain was did not represent Finch's best life. While he was regaining function to his dematerialized and rematerialized hand, it began to burn like fire as the nerves tried to figure out just what the hell had happened to the appendage. Suda was a fucker and a crazy ass one at that. For the first time since he'd stepped aboard the Daedalus, perhaps ever, Finch was afraid of someone. Vengeance would come for Suda one day, but until then... Finch cradled his half-numb hand against his chest.

"Captain?" Finch said as soon as he stepped off the turbolift. The Operations officer on duty nodded toward the ready room, so that's where Finch went. He pressed the chime on the door and played through a few possible scenarios in his head as to how this encounter may go. Few of them went well. None of them were in his favor. "Fucking Suda..."

The door opened, and Maddox looked out at Finch for a moment.

"Mister Finch," he said cooly. "Is this a conversation we can have on the bridge, or one for my ready room?"

"Yeah, we need to keep this on the down-low," he purred, still nursing his numb hand.

"Ah-huh," Maddox said, before realising the sooner he was done with whatever this was, the sooner his life and meaningful existence could continue. "Then please, come in."

Maddox gestured into the ready room, whose contents had been opened and displayed. Antiques from Earth's early space exploration era, tools in padded thermal quilts, the sort of kitchy crap Finish might have expected to find at the gift shop at Spacedock One. Maddox moved behind his desk, taking a sip from a coffee cup whose dregs were just about palatable.

"Have a seat Mister Finch. What brings you to my office?"

"Saving my ass," Finch said with no shortage of spite. "That Andorian almost murdered me and said he would finish the job unless I confessed something to you." Not wishing to incriminate himself more than needed, he said, "Ask the computer for my location."

"I..." Maddox began to say. But he was so blindsided by the statement, he followed the instruction. "Computer, state the location of Luetenant Finch."

"Lieutenant Finch is currently located 'in your ass'," the computer said in its droll tone. Finch himself looked nonplussed.

Maddox raised his eyebrows.

"So you changed the location metadata?" he asked. "Mister Finish, adding alterations to the internal sensors is not the sort of behaviour I expect from my senior staff."

"In my defense, I'm not really senior staff," Finch said. "I'm only here because I got tired of running from the cybercrimes unit of the Federation Marshals." There was a hint of pride in that arrangement. "We help each other just enough to avoid mutual destruction for the thumbtack we are on each other other's nutsack. Nothing I did justified what..." Finch's smugness faltered. "...what that blue dickhead did."

"Eloquently put," Maddox said dryly, as he settled himself down into his chair behind the desk. "So, this bickering will they/won't they relationship you have with the Chief of Security on this ship has come to a head I take it?"

Finch looked guilty as hell, even guiltier than when he'd first entered. "It might involve other members of the crew now..."

"Others?" Maddox said after a pause that felt like days. "Perhaps you could provide some intelligence on that subject?"

"Well, there was the poetic graffito about the basic chief engineer that wound up on the door of the privy near the mess hall," Finch said. "The big titty doctor gave a critique of the poem instead of reporting it. Suda found it and raised all kinds of hell, ultimately putting my head in a replicator!"

"Ah. I see, Newton's Third Law." Maddox noted, using a liberal dash of sarcasm to overcome the growing pressure of a headache brewing behind his eyes. "You'll pardon me for being blunt here Mr Finch, but I am the captain of a starship. I was, also, a chief engineer myself and before that a junior officer. Much the same as you. And I have to admit, not once did I see my career dog legging into becoming a kindergarten teacher."

He held up a hand.

"I'm not finished Mr Finch. I don't know if you've come here to try to get me to put my foot on the neck of Chief Suda because he's ruined your fun, or because that small shred of human decency in your soul found an open mic to your conscience and you've come to understand the errors of your ways. I'm not sure which of those options it is, and to be honest I'm not sure I care," Maddox smiled thinly. "Now, in ten words or less, what is it that you want from me?"

"Tell Suda I confessed so he won't kill me," Finch said plainly in nine words. "I thought I'd made that clear."

"Mayhaps, but it's good to have the taste of humility on the tongue from time to time," Maddox nodded. "I'll let Chief Suda know you came to me. But...know that this is not a blanket apology for all your ills. Suda is a guard dog, and we are his flock. If he should have need to see you as a threat, he will do so Mr Finch. Remember the team you play on is his team also."

Finch held up his right hand. "Yeah, I figured that out around the time he dematerialized and rematerialized my hand inside the replicator! It might be days before I have any options other than left hand shame. Maybe longer!"

Maddox closed his eyes, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are the Intelligence Officer," Maddox said. "One can but hope you see this as a learning experience."

All Finch could do was glare at Maddox. "Oh, I learned quite a bit. Like how completely useless you are, Captain!" He was completely over this conversation. Turning about, Finch marched out of the room without being dismissed.

Maddox sighed, releasing a breath of tension he never knew he had.

"Good. Talk."

 

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